Lunacy
by Raiegki Leviathan
Summary: Ripper Roo shares his life story...and his hatred of straight jackets with the world.


A/N: This next fic is about the most entertaining support character in the whole Crash series (in my opinion), Ripper Roo, who I think is more than just an insane freak. (Yeah, I know, I think too much about the Crash characters.)  
  
Note: This takes place around the time Crash Bandicoot: Warped takes place, before CTR: Crash Team Racing.  
  
Disclaimer: Ripper Roo, Crash Bandicoot, and all related characters belong to Universal. (Though I, Raiegki Leviathan think that Naughty Dog should've kept Crash)  
  
~*~  
  
Lunacy  
  
~*~  
  
Everyone gives me strange looks. Can they not see that I am just like them?  
  
Oh, sorry, I haven't properly introduced myself.  
  
My name is Ripper Roo. At least, that's what everyone calls me. I think I used to have a different name, in some past life, but I don't remember. Which isn't all to strange because I don't remember much.  
  
I don't even remember what creature I am!  
  
Some people think I'm a dog, and others think I'm a kangaroo. Some even think I'm both.  
  
~*~  
  
My first memory is of being strapped in an uncomfortable chair. These two humans were hovered over me, taking. One of them pressed a few buttons on a nearby control counter and this HUGE ray was aimed straight at my head. It emitted a loud, low humming noise. Funny how something can be loud, yet low at the same time. Anyway, it zapped me. Don't ask what the ray looked like, because I had my eyes closed the whole time. But I can tell you one thing.  
  
It hurt. A lot.  
  
After what was probably hours and hours of zapping and stopping and zapping again, the two humans finally stopped the torture.  
  
The shorter one, he had this huge "N" on his forehead, he walked over to me and said one thing:  
  
"Speak."  
  
I tried to, I really did. I tried to shout out at him, I wanted to sink my teeth into his scrawny little neck and tear him limb by limb with my razor sharp talons. Or claws, for those of you who prefer that word better. But all he could hear was laughing and cackling.  
  
I was mortified. I had lost my ability to speak! I couldn't speak in human, or my native tongue, whichever it was because that stupid ray thing made me forget what it was.  
  
Angry, he turned to the other human. "Brio!" He shouted. "Your Evolvo-Ray didn't exactly work like you promised!"  
  
"But...but Cortex!" The human known as Brio protested. "There...there must be some mistake, my machine is perfect!"  
  
"Enough!" Cortex shouted at him. "My Cortex Vortex will correct your flaws. Grab Experiment 001 and prepare him for the Cortex Vortex."  
  
Brio, who I soon later learned his full name was Nitrus Brio, unstrapped me, held me so I couldn't fight back at him, and strapped me into yet ANOTHER uncomfortable chair.  
  
Cortex scurried over and pulled levers and switches, and the chair started going up, ever so slowly.  
  
Looking up, I saw I was entering another machine. I assumed this was the "Cortex Vortex" they were talking about.  
  
Inside, it was pitch black and I couldn't see a thing. Then I felt a shock. Then another. Hundreds more pricked at my fur for thirty seconds that seemed to last forever. This was worse than the "Evolvo-Ray" thing.  
  
Finally, the chair started to decend, at the same horribly slow rate it went up.  
  
"Well, Cortex," Brio smirked. "At least my invention can actually DO something."  
  
I proved Brio wrong.  
  
Apparently, the contraption had enhanced the strength of my arm and leg muscles. I wriggled my arms free and used them to slice the belts holding me down.  
  
"Experiment 001 is escaping!" Cortex shouted, as I lept out of the chair and landed on all fours on the cold, hard floor. It seemed that EVERYTHING in this place was uncomfortable. "Catch him! Catch him!"  
  
Both of them charged at me with nets. Not knowing exactly what I was doing, I jumped onto a table, which was covered with glass beakers with who-knows-what insde them. As they got closer, I sprinted through, knocking over everything in sight.  
  
"My beakers!" Brio gasped, stopping for a minute to mourn the lost of his precious chemicals.  
  
Cortex, ignoring his colleague, still pursued me. I resorted to using my claws, which had become much longer and sharper, to scale the walls of the laboratory.  
  
Being the unusually short humans they were, Cortex and Brio couldn't reach me. I sneered and stuck my long tongue at them.  
  
Hopping mad, and I almost thought I saw steam puffing from his ears, Cortex ran over to a big, shiny red button and slammed down on it.  
  
A second later, seven exactly identical humans marched in with perfect order, like a human army.  
  
"Catch and restrain Experiment 001." Cortex said, as if getting me was going to be as easy as moving faster than a banana slug.  
  
The seven of them turned around in unison, with their glasses all focused on me.  
  
I heard a scraping sound. Looking at my claws, I realized that I was slipping and not able to hold on much longer.  
  
Instead of waiting to fall down flat on my face, I released my grip on the wall and pounced on the nearest nameless human, pushing him to the ground.  
  
Another one grabbed my tail. I turned around and swiped at his head.  
  
Instead of seeing blood drip from his head, my claw marks revealed a metal coating underneath his skin. It was then and there did I realize that these were not humans, but mindless androids built to serve Cortex. The robot tightened his grip on my tail, and I howled, slashing at him again, beheading the metal human.  
  
That was two, there were five left to go. Immediately, I tackled the nearest robot and tore him limb from limb.  
  
That was my mistake.  
  
While aputating that one android, two of them clutched my two arms. Helpless, another one strapped a muzzle over my snout. Finally, the last one shot me with something called a tranquilizer gun.  
  
"He's mentally unstable, Dr. Cortex." I heard Brio mutter to his colleague before everything went black.  
  
~*~  
  
A damp scent lingered in the air as my eyes slowly opened. I tried to move my arms, when I realized I couldn't. They were bound down with a white straight jacket.  
  
I twisted around like a little grub trying to get on my hind legs. When I finally did, all I did was tip over and land on my back with a soft thud.  
  
Being a quadruped standing on two legs was hard. Now, that still doesn't answer whether I am a dog or a kangaroo, because when kangaroos walk, they walk on all fours. But still...I could rip and tear like a dog...but this is off the subject. Back to me and my little problem.  
  
Again and again I tried, able to stand up for an extra second or two before falling over with each try. Finally, I figured out how to balance myself on two feet, which I believe had grown larger to support my weight.  
  
Then I decided to try walking, like a human, but no matter how hard I tried, I ended up landing stomach first on the ground. I guess I am not "evolved" enough to walk. The best I can do is hop about.  
  
Deciding to take a look around my surroundings, I found I was in a cage barely large enough for me to survive in. I could hop three times forward, three times back, three times left, and three times right. That's it. It was smaller than it sounded.  
  
I was confined in there for several days, but those days gave me time to think. "Who am I, what am I, what is my purpose?" Those are only some of the things I thought about at first. Slowly, my thougts turned to "That machine is dangerous. Would other animals that go through what I did turn out like me? Or will the results be different depending on the animal or what the machine is set to do?"  
  
That's when I realize although my speech is impared and I speak a language of my own, my jumping capabilities have been multiplied several times, and my claws were longer and sharper and can sever through almost anything, the most evolved thing about me was my brain. I amused myself by teaching myself to read the signs that surrounded my cage. Ones like "Danger! Mad animal!", "Approach with caution!" and "Mentally unstable!". After that got boring, which it did rather quickly, I thought of theories of evolution and its consequences, which became the title of a book I wrote later.  
  
But still, it hurt me to be called "Mentally unstable".  
  
~*~  
  
I noticed that Cortex and Brio continued experimenting, as two more "evolved" animals like myself strolled by my cage every now and then. A koala with enough strength to lift Cortex and throw him through the whole laboratory, and a...something who appeared to be trigger happy with his tommy gun.  
  
Then there was that bandicoot. Crash is his name. Cortex called him a reject, but not "mentally unstable" like me, so he just threw him out the window and prepared to experiment on a female bandicoot named Tawna.  
  
Now, from my little cage in the corner, I noticed that Crash appeared to be infactuated with Tawna, so I knew he would be back.  
  
~*~  
  
Early one morning, that rude koala monstrosity lifted my cage without any concern for me, the one who was inside it.  
  
Koala Kong, that brute of a creature, boarded a boat still holding my cage and we departed from the island where Cortex and Brio had set up their lab to another island Cortex owned. He carried me up a waterfall, pulled the bars apart, and said that I had to stay here, because Cortex was sick of looking at my "insane face".  
  
I was actually glad Cortex was sick of me, because I was here, at the top of a beautiful waterfall, with all the fresh air I could breathe.  
  
Even though I wasn't in that cage anymore, I was still in that blasted straight jacket and still am now. I can't find anyone who will free me from it. Will you?  
  
~*~  
  
"That Cortex." I muttered in my language of laughing. Actually, since all I can do is laugh, it wasn't exactly muttering. "You take me here, but I am still in this straight jacket." I hopped back and forth, my version of pacing.  
  
I heard something that sounded similar to a wind rushing by, so I looked down from my little perch above the waterfall. I saw an orange bandicoot dressed in blue jeans and red shoes. I recognized him right away. Crash Bandicoot, the reject I predicted would come back.  
  
I hopped down to greet him, using my usual language of laughing to speak to him. Unfortunately, he didn't understand I thing I said and ended up detonating some major TNT near me. Actually, I was just happy to see another living being and wanted to ask him to set me free from my straight jacket. Too bad it turned out to be a fight...which he won.  
  
He left, and I was left to just hop around again. Except I didn't feel like it.  
  
~*~  
  
When news reached me that Cortex had be defeated, I laughed out loud. No, I wasn't saying aything, it was pure laughter.  
  
But my laughter ended abrutly when two komodo dragons came to my waterfall and dragged me away.  
  
~*~  
  
Crash and I crossed paths once again. At the same place, my waterfall. But it had been renovated, there was a desk with books for me to read, and a new platform with my face on it. I still say my face wasn't necessary, but Cortex had his workers put it there anyway.  
  
By now, pretty much everyone could understand me now, so things were a little easier for me, though no one would pay attention everytime I asked to be freed from my straight jacket. Yes, I hate this thing much more than how much I am implying I hate it.  
  
I was still sore at Crash for fighting with me when all I wanted was a simple favor. So we ended up fighting again. He won again. I then deducted I would probably never be able to beat him when it came to physical strength.  
  
Someday, I will get revenge on him.  
  
~*~  
  
So that's my life story. Pretty short, huh? Why did I tell you all this? Well, I am still angered by being called "mentally unstable" or "crazy" or something along those lines. I just want someone to understand. I'm very smart as you see.  
  
Oh, and before you go...will you PLEASE help me take this thing off?  
  
~*~  
  
End  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: Okay, I don't think this is as good as "Enslaved (For a lack of a better title)" but it was fun to write, and we need some stories about Ripper Roo around here.  
  
And yes, I do think that Ripper Roo loathes his straight jacket. *Helps Ripper Roo take it off*  
  
No, I do NOT know what animal Ripper Roo is so don't ask. -_-;;  
  
~*~  
  
"Lunacy"- written by Raiegki Leviathan of the Grassrunners; started 12:24 AM Saturday, August 24th 2002; finished 1:39 AM Saturday, August 24th, 2002  
  
~*~ 


End file.
